On time and the present moment


I'm sitting in class, zoning out while the teacher explains something about irrational numbers, and I start thinking about what I'm going to wear for thanksgiving lunch. And that reminds me: I still need to bring all my summer clothes to the basement! Oh, but first I need to practice guitar before my lesson this afternoon; I'm not ready yet to perform in front of the others in my guitar class!
I can't wait to get home, and start getting these things done, I think to myself. Instinctively, I look at my watch- but wait-WHAT?! Oh no!!! IT'S NOT THERE!!!
Did I seriously forget my watch at home?
It's the strangest feeling. It's like I'm floating through space. There's no clock on the wall. The kids around me aren't wearing watches either. 
How am I supposed to know what time it is? How weird it is that I have NO WAY of knowing when the bell will ring, and how much time is left before I go home? 

In that moment, I did not feel at ease. That was yesterday morning: it was a very short school day, of only three hours. But the number of times I checked my wrist only to see- again- that my watch was missing, is astounding.
It's made me realize how dependent I am on my watch, and more importantly, how much I depend on time.
It's almost like I've become a watch myself, without even knowing it. In my life, I calculate every minute, deciding how much time I can give myself for this, how much time I should spend on that...
Because time, I feel, is always escaping me...

What if we had no time, no deadlines, no parts of the day; what if we could just be, with no worries, no goals, no clocks ticking...?
How would our lives be conducted?
I can't imagine it. I start thinking too hard, and it muddles my brain.
But I do know that something might need to be done; because I've just identified the major source of the stress I carry in life: time! I have no TIME! I need more TIME!

Where does time go? Where does the present disappear to?
I do my best to live in the moment; but it still makes me nervous to think that the clock is ticking...!

Take today, for example. There will never, ever, ever be a 21st of November 2013, ever again. Never in the future of the universe, ever.
Do you have some light to shed on this matter?


10 comments:

  1. that's true Carmenypoo! :D
    time flies to fast!!

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  2. You are so right --time just flies by and we can" get aminute of it back. The older you get the faster it goes. Each week just is gone in the blink of an eye. I really enjoyed your blog today. By the way did you find your watch? I hope so.

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  3. i feel so naked without my watch! like i have no idea where i am in time or space. crazy how one little thing can dictate so much of our day!

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    1. Glad to know I'm not the only one who felt that way :P

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  4. Be here now! Dream on!
    Love your stream of consciousness flow of thoughts. Nice writing.

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  5. this blog post really speaks to me because I feel myself finding time to just pass me by. It's strange, the older I get, the quicker things seem to go by. No matter how much i complain about high school, I will miss it and my senior year seems to be just flying away. It makes me sad!

    http://www.mybrokeneggshells.com

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    1. Well remember this then: "Don't count the days, make the days count" :)

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